Funmi Akingbade
cafi.punch@yahoo.com
08034540594, 08156047309
Like any other field of specialisation where codes are deployed, sexual relationship between married couples is also modulated by sexual dialect, codes, terms and acronym. They are basically used to refer to sexual activities, practices and sex organs. They are also mostly seen as slangs, formal, informal and medical words.
They can also be applied subtly when you don’t want the third party to know what is about to happen or is happening. Besides, the fact that many of these words are used as medical terms becomes a form of education when couples are familiar with them. So, let us start off by looking into some 94 different terminologies.
The areola is the dark ring of skin surrounding the nip of the nipple, it is seen on both male and female breasts.
The mons veneris is a mound of flesh located above the vagina.
Vulva is a collective term referring to a woman’s external genitalia.
The labia is the external fold of flesh of the vulva.
The labia majora is the thicker, outside labia layer of the vagina while the labia minora is the inner labia.
The hymen is the tissue that partly or completely covers the vaginal opening.
The foreskin is a covering that protects the head of the penis in uncircumcised men. And circumcision is the surgical procedure of removing the foreskin of the penis.
Female genital mutilation of the clitoris is the surgical removal of the clitoris or part of it; it could also be called female circumcision. The clitoris is the most sensitive external female sex organ, otherwise called the penis of the female because it is full of nerves and nerve endings.
A blue ball is the inflammation of the epididymis.
Sexual activity is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality.
Sexual activity normally results in sexual arousal and physiological changes in the aroused person, some of which are pronounced while others are subtle. Sexual activity may also include conduct and activities which are intended to arouse the sexual interest of another, such as strategies to find or attract partners and personal interactions between individuals, such as foreplay. Sexual activity may follow sexual arousal.
Sexual activity can be consensual or take place under force or duress contrary to social norms or generally accepted sexual moral conducts.
The physiological responses during sexual stimulation are fairly similar for both men and women and there are four phases.
During the excitement phase, muscle tension and blood flow increase in and around the sexual organs, heart and respiration increase and blood pressure rises.
Men and women experience a “sex flush” on the skin of the upper body and face.
Typically, a woman’s vagina becomes lubricated and her clitoris becomes swollen, while the penis of the man metamorphoses from being flaccid {small and thin and dropping} to erect {stand firm, hard and straight, which is mostly call hard-on’}.
During the plateau phase, heart rate and muscle tension increase further. A man’s urinary bladder closes to prevent urine from mixing with semen.
A woman’s clitoris may withdraw slightly while the lower part of the vaginal wall produces more fluid which helps in more lubrication, leading to the outer swelling and muscles tighten and reduction of diameter.
During the orgasm phase, breathing of both husband and wife becomes extremely rapid and the pelvic muscles begin a series of rhythmic contractions.
Both men and women experience quick cycles of muscle contraction of lower pelvic muscles and women often experience uterine and vaginal contractions; this experience can be described as intensely pleasurable, but roughly 15 per cent of women never experience orgasm and half report having faked it. A large genetic component is associated with how often women experience orgasm.
While for the male partner there is a rush of blood to the penis, this rush of blood is temporarily trapped inside the two big tissues of the penis, making the penis to be extremely empowered, strong, hard and looking more like a very strong muscle; to penetrate any shape or shade or size of a vagina, going straight from the tip of the vagina to the end of the vagina, very strong for thrusting in and out for at least close to 15 minutes at a go so as to produce an ejaculation. {this is the phase many husbands encounter challenges of being unable to produce, maintain and sustain the erection for good penetration and ejaculation, but I keep emphasising that there are numerous solutions to these challenges}
During the resolution phase, muscles relax, blood pressure drops, and the body returns to its resting state.
This is the stage all men’s penis immediately goes back to its flaccid, soft, lifeless stage. However, it could be revived to the pre-orgasmic stage when a man is extremely caressed, given blowjob and the tip of the penis is vigorously and seductively sucked.
It is generally reported that some women do not experience a refractory period and thus can experience an additional orgasm, or multiple orgasms, if and when either their breasts, or nipples, or clitoris or vulva is well sucked on.
Some sources state that both men and women experience a refractory period because women may also experience a period after orgasm in which further sexual stimulation does not produce excitement. This period may last from minutes to days and is typically longer for men than women.
Sexual dysfunction is the inability to react emotionally or physically to sexual stimulation in a way projected of the average healthy person; it can affect different stages in the sexual response cycles, which are desire, excitement and orgasm. In the media, sexual dysfunction is often associated with men, but in reality, it is more commonly observed in females (43 per cent) than males (31 per cent).
Most people engage in sexual activity because of pleasure they derive from the arousal of their sexuality, especially if they can achieve orgasm.
Orgasm is the muscular contractions involved during sexual activity, along with the characteristic patterns of change in heart rate, blood pressure, and often respiration rate and depth. [That is why hypertensive patients are carefully advised as per sexual activities because each orgasm leads to increase blood pressure], and a sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region.
Sexual arousal also known as sexual excitement is the awakening of sexual desire, during or in anticipation of sexual activity.
A number of physiological responses occur in the body and mind as preparation for sex and continue during it. Genital responses are not the only changes, but noticeable and necessary for consensual and comfortable intercourse.
Mental stimuli and physical stimuli such as touch and the internal fluctuation of hormones, can influence sexual arousal.
Foreplay is the mutual sexual stimulation of one’s partner, usually as a prelude to sexual intercourse.
Flirting is a social and sometimes sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other.
Erotic is arousing or satisfying sexual desire subject to or marked by strong sexual desire.
Pre-marital sex is sexual activity practised by persons who are unmarried.
While extramarital sex can also be called infidelity, unlawful carnal knowledge is adultery or fornication. This occurs when a married person engages in sexual activity with someone other than his or her spouse. From a different perspective, it also applies to a single person having sex with a married person. Researchers found out that 82 per cent of males and 76 per cent of females had extramarital sex one time or the other in their lifetime, while an 86 per cent have fantasised about extramarital sex much often.
Sexual assault or rape or forced kissing, date rape, inappropriate touching or fondling, obscene phone calls, sexual harassment, child sexual abuse, or the torture of the victim in a sexual manner are all forms of sexual assault or sexual violence; any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any non-consensual sexual touching of such person.
Similar to sexual assaults is also incest which is a form of sexual abuse by a family member. This is more common than other forms of sexual assault on a child, and can result in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest. Approximately 45 per cent to 55 per cent of women and 15 per cent to 25 per cent of men were sexually abused when they were children.
Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30 per cent are relatives of the child, most often brothers, fathers, mothers, sisters and uncles or cousins; around 60 per cent are other acquaintances such as friends of the family, babysitters, or neighbours.
Studies have shown that the psychological damage is often particularly severe when sexual assault is committed by parents against children due to the incestuous nature of the assault. Often, sexual assault on a child is not reported by the child for several reasons: the children are too young to recognise their victimisation or put it into words, they were threatened or bribed by the abuser, they feel confused by fearing the abuser but liking the attention, they are afraid no one will believe them.
Infertility means one cannot get pregnant (conceive) as of when desired. There are two types of infertility: primary infertility refers to couples who have not become pregnant after at least one year having sex without using birth control methods; secondary infertility refers to couples who have been able to get pregnant at least once, but now are unable.
Questions!!! Answers!!!
Passion for sex with him not just there
I love my husband, but after several years together, the passion is not just there. How can I heat things up again?
Mrs. Joan Kennedy from Isolo
Complacency creates more complacency. It sounds like your fireworks are experiencing a very short fuse. Let us start with some new little sparklers and celebrate your marriage.
The key word is “new.” Invest in a new account of pleasure-centered desire and you might just become an instantly sexy, passionate woman. Here are seven easy ways to reignite your attraction. Send him sexy text messages. If you cannot think of something seductive to write, try, “C U 2nite. Pants optional” or send him your picture he likes most. Wake up and do it. Men’s testosterone peaks between 7 and 8 a.m. so, take advantage of this fun fact and have sex with him a few minutes after the alarm goes off so you have a chance to wake up a bit before getting it on. Imagine an afternoon delight. Pretend that you and your husband had the chance for a mid-day sex session. Fantasise about where you would go and what you would do, then share your vision with him. Even if you never get the chance to make it happen, it is fun to talk about your daytime romp; men love to hear such. Have a mini make-out session, spontaneously kissing your man for 10 seconds.
Seductively dress yourself up and take your husband to a restaurant; pay for an executive private room, it sounds silly though, but can be really fun and flirty. Treat him to a good meal and seduce him. Make sure the lingerie you will put on would be such that would turn your body into the sexiest sex goddess he has ever seen.
Lastly, sleep naked if you are a pyjama, pants and big T-shirt kind of a woman, going naked will make you feel a thousand times sexier, which will in turn, get you in the mood.
After shedding weight, he has refused to touch me
Funmi I do not understand my husband any longer. After giving birth last year, I tried to do something about my overweight and now I am almost a size zero but since I have reduced drastically, my husband has refused to touch me or have sex with me. He comes so late at night and goes to bed instantly. I asked if anything was the matter, he just kept mute. What am I to do?
Mrs. Ijioma Apollo
Contrary to seemingly popular opinion, women’s curves and figure stimulate men’s brain better than drugs. While many wives are focusing on the so-called “size zero,” many controversies are over women with too thin figures. Science has found that men’s brains respond to more curvaceous figures than too thin ones.
Study demonstrates that the sight of a curvy woman’s body has an effect on a man’s brain similar to that of taking drugs. Contemplating the ‘ins and outs’ of a woman’s figure stimulates the parts of the brain related to processing sexual arousal.
“Curvy” figure is considered attractive to men because larger breasts and wider hips with a smaller waist are supposed to indicate the health and fertility of the woman. Therefore, I will suggest you put a little bit of flesh on, maybe that would do the trick.
I can’t get my penis up
I am very healthy, fit and I’ve been sexually active since I was 15. Now, I am in my early 30s, I do a regular medical cheek-up every four months but shamefully, I have lost count of many women who refuse to put up with me all because I or they can’t get my penis up. During sex, I will have to hold my penis down and tight with my fingers like a ring just to make it strong enough for erection. Are there other reasons my penis can’t get up? Help, I am dying gradually.
Owen Peters
Sometimes when a man has serial sexual partners, there may be possibility of being intimidated especially when he is overwhelmed with the feeling that he needs to perform a little more than usual. This is a major reason why you may lose erection as a healthy man. If you’ve been drinking heavily, there’s a good chance your penis might not be able to perform. Besides, online porn is probably the greatest hidden contributor to bedroom ED, because of overuse or over indulgence of it. If you are the type that is addicted to porn and masturbating several times a day, however healthy you may be, you may likely end up not having erection. Is your mind clouded with issues of life or something is troubling you or you are feeling guilty about something? This aspect of mental instability paralyses a man more than anything else regardless of the high state of wellbeing.
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